Mum's First Moments - Guest Post from Leigh at 'Headspace Perspective'

For this week's #MumsFirstMoments I am delighted to introduce you to the wonderful Leigh. She is Mummy to Hugo who was born at 24 weeks and sadly passed away at the age of 35 days. Leigh blogs over at http://headspace-perspective.com/ where she writes about birth trauma, premature birth, baby loss and postnatal mental health to help raise awareness of bereavement, HELLP syndrome and related health issues. You can also find Leigh on twitter @leighakendall and on Bloglovin'.

"...Seeing my Son for the First Time..."

My pregnancy had been going along perfectly normally for 23 weeks. It all changed during my routine 24 week Midwife appointment. I'd been feeling a bit under the weather for the previous week but put it down to pregnancy ailments that would just have to be endured. So, I got the shock of my life when my Midwife sent to Hospital, where I was diagnosed with the rare, life-threatening pregnancy conditions pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome. I was told I was so sick I was likely to have to deliver my baby that night.

Thankfully, my condition stabilised enough for my baby to stay in me to grow a little bit more. However, because the only cure is to deliver the baby the inevitable was only postponed.

When I had imagined giving birth to my baby, I had expected pain and exhaustion, but nothing like this. I had expected to be able to see him and cuddle him straight away.

My Son was born by emergency Caesarean section with me under general anaesthetic at 24+4 weeks. He weighed just 420 grams. My Son was born fighting, and he was incubated, ventilated and whisked off to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). I had been on the verge of multiple organ failure and was taken to the Adult Intensive Care Unit, at the other end of the Hospital.

I'd already decided that I wanted our Son to be called Hugo. I loved the meaning - 'bright in mind and spirit' - and my Partner had to agree that he would need every ounce of that.

It was 30 hours before I first saw my Son.

I'll never forget the first moment I laid eyes on him. I'd seen photos, but it was difficult to tell the scale of just how tiny he was. I think I shrieked in shock. But he was perfect. He was mine. I had helped make this wonderful, brand-new human being.

The Consultant encouraged me to open the incubator door and touch him. I was terrified of hurting him. But I opened the door, put in my hand and he instantly gripped my finger. He gripped it so tightly. I was his Mummy, he was my Son. We were there, together, bonded just as we should have been.

The 'Mum's First Moments' Blogger Series is all about embracing the first moments of Motherhood. Everything from the moment you discover you're expecting, through all those pregnancy firsts, into child-birth and those first moments as a new Mum and beyond towards the big milestone 'first moments' of bringing your little bundle home, seeing that first gorgeous smile on their faces and more.

If you'd like to get involved comment below, tweet me @shay_noble or email me at shaynoble@outlook.com for some more information :)